I told you that you reminded me of someone. That day on the beach at Quidnet. i couldn’t help thinking i had seen that same face before. Your strong forehead and broad cheeks. Your delicate curves and Roman nose. The puffy pout and little mouth. The mystery in your eyes. Who was that girl?
It’s not that i want you to leave of course. It’s that you can’t stay. You don’t belong here anymore. it’s that part that nicks my soul. it’s that part that takes my breath away. You’ve grown up. Yes you are still vulnerable. in some ways so much more so. But you know who you are now. i can smell your strength. it’s different than when you lived here. You aren’t restless or anxious. But you are so ready to start your life up again. And away from here.
It’s what we did. it’s how we worked it. It’s why i let you walk way in front of me at the park so you could feel free. it felt so wonderful to you. You would turn around to spy. Then the walk would turn to a run. You would keep running and then turn to check again from further away until i scolded you to wait. You would just twirl or jump until i caught up. Always fluid. Always motion. Always ready to put distance between us once i finally arrived allowing you to run off again.
Today you run. Fast and furious. Full of wonder and beauty. Full of what’s to come. Knowing that the truth is what actually happens. All else is fiction. You prefer truth and run in its direction.
I’m happy to have you when I do. My heart is full to know you will always visit and know we are here. But still you will run way out in front of me. Now it is dusk and I can’t see you anymore and my scolding is stuck in my throat. My voice won’t utter a sound. The moon, your favorite light, is soothing. Your shadows are long gone but somehow linger.
I am not afraid for you anymore. You remind me of someone. On the beach that day at Quidnet. You remind me of a little girl I knew who loved to be running free.
Lisa Bertini